Harris Review of Oscar Night 2006
Apparently the Harris family had plenty to say about the 2006 Oscar ceremonies. Here is the chain of e-mails and the more than 2000 words written on the topic.
Michael wrote:
Selma Hyack is hot. Cherlise
Theron is hot. Betty Bacall has seen better days. The introduction of Robert
Alltman with Meryl Streep and Lilli Tomlin tried too hard and fell flat. The
most telling comment of the
evening was lost in one of the interminable reaction
shots. This time they showed a perplexed Morgan Freeman while the Penquin
producer was making a heart -felt pitch for the Kyoto accords to counter -act
global warming, but not many caught it. The co-writer of Crash did not get a
chance to thank anyone because they cut him off too soon; there will be plenty
of controversy over the winning song and its lyrics which may not play well with
the Jerry Falwell set; the winning of Crash as best picture was a surprise; and
I liked the choice of Reese Witherspoon but it would have been alliterative for
Hoffman and Huffman to have each won; the Ben Stilla bit in the green suit was
not funny; I am glad they cut out the big production dance numbers; Jon Stewart
the host did a reasonably good job with material that was well written. I would
place him somewhere way better than David Letterman and Whoopie Goldberg and
Chris Rock but slightly below Billy Crystal and not near Johnnie Carson. As a
cultural experience for the country I thought it did a good job of telling the
story of film; go to a theatre for the communal experience and enjoy the effort
of the filmmakers to say something relevant to touch the heart and to excite the
passions. Is that why 40 year old virgen made so much money? MH
David replied:
Now I will be forced to respond to Michael's fairly loving assessment of the Academy's self love in. What bosh, what tripe, they love themselves way too much. The red carpet two hours was not nearly as sexy as the Music Awards or even the Golden Globes. The dresses were really quite ordinary and sedate. Nobody really plunged or revealed much. I want to see tits and ass, if I'm going to devote two hours to that nonsense.
Then the show started, and it was too long right from the start. You think I give a hoot about technical achievements or scoring music or audio mixing or makeup? You’ve gotta be kidding. I want to see the winners say something meaningful ( that means Political with a capital P ) I don't give a hoot how good their Mothers were to them.
Jon Stewart is Jewish, now that was news. But little of his material was boffo, slightly amusing I would say. By the time they got to the end, I was glad of it. Glad to see Crash win best picture. The rest of it was a ho hum. Reese Witherspoon, as best actress, was a joke, but OK if that is who they want to reward. All little pics. All independent pics, in one way or another. And a plea to attend the movies at the theatres. Those people are badly out of touch with the world. In 1950 with about half as many people as there are in the USA today they had 90 million attendances a week. Today with twice as many people in the USA they get about 15 million attendances a week. Why? Price of tickets. Price of Popcorn. Commercials in the theatres. Now homes are air conditioned, you can make popcorn in the microwave and put as much butter and salt on it as you and your doctor like, movies can be sent through the mail, ordered from ComCast or rented for a fraction of the cost of actually going to a theatre. The only people who go to theatres nowadays are mossbacks like Michael, Jeanne and my mother.
I sit home night after night and watch HBO and IFC and TCM, I get the best for next to nothing. My chair is comfortable and depending on the film I get to see more skin and skivvies than I ever could at United Artists in the Marina.
The folks making movies should change their entire outlook and make more daring (read that adult features for dirty old couples) films, package them on DVDs and market the joys and economies of home viewing and shut those tired old dirty smelly cell phone ridden parlors of darkness that cost $ 7.50 or $8.50 for a senior to attend. Turn the real estate into Mini Malls and sell teeny boppers raggedy ass jeans and short tee shirts.
The Bald Eagles has spoken
Anita replies:
As those of you who know me can guess, I am not one to weigh in on these email go-rounds, but I feel compelled to answer the rant of my future Father-in-Law.
David, David, David...
I know this may be difficult for you to understand, but there are actually people who have dreamed their whole lives of getting up on that stage and making their "I'd like to thank..." speech. I know this because I am one of them. I am one of the corny few who practices her acceptance speech in the car. I may never be in a position to actually give it, but it's prepared nevertheless (you may have jeopardized your name being mentioned, by the way.)
I grew up the daughter of a film editor. You probably would not have been interested in his speech had he won an Oscar, because his would have just been a "technical achievement, like scoring music, or audio mixing, or make-up." But hey, it's what he did. (and by the way, when did scoring music become just a technical achievement?) At any rate, my dad was talented and took great pride in his work. I was his guest at the Emmy Awards the year he won and from that moment on, it was his career goal to win an Oscar to sit by his Emmy on the shelf. He didn't reach that goal, but he took the challenge seriously. And I am here to continue the pursuit. Silly, but true.
Like it or not, the Academy Award is the highest achievement we have in our business and whether it's a stupid show that "runs too long right from the beginning, or the host is only mildly amusing, or the dresses are ordinary or sedate," those of us who toil on really silly (i.e. bad) movies still hope that perhaps one day we will be sitting in that audience. I guarantee you if I do have that chance, I won't care one teeny weeny bit that the viewing public thinks the show is a big snooze.
I agree there's a dearth of wonderful films and I, like you spend a lot of time tuned into TCM, but Hollywood goes through cycles like every other business. It's not one of its better times, although I have to say the little independent films were definitely some the ones I liked the best this year.
Next year, I invite you to join us at our Oscar party, which has been a Brandt family tradition since I was a kid. It includes homemade submarine sandwiches and everyone bets on all the categories. My dad used to Xerox his actual Academy ballot, but it'll be another year or two before I can do that. For now, we just use copies of the one from the Calendar Section. (Oh-- and I won last night, with 16 correct choices-- what was up with "Crash" winning Best Picture instead of "Brokeback Mountain?") But It's fun and the food is good. In fact, maybe that's why you didn't enjoy it; I think you were eating the wrong food. Next year... submarine sandwiches... my house.
Anita
Ken lobs into the mix:
Wow, I for one enjoy Anita's words and think she schooled David like a real Harris pro. I only hope she now feels at liberty to interject more often. It is always nice to hear new voices.
As for the show, I like Jon Stewart. I like him on the Daily Show and I enjoyed him last night. We had fun with Linda (grandma Yaya) and a big have of Island's greasy love. Only saw two of the many possible movie choices (Harry Potter and Star Wars--perhaps that is why the movie business is in trouble) but still enjoyed seeing the montages (sp?), especially who had "passed".
As for speeding up the process-- I can only recommend TIVO as away to move things along. Linda was certainly impressed when we paused the show to read bedtime stories to the kids and quickly caught up to find out who the rest of the winners were
Ken
Scott to rescue:
OK guys, now you've done it. Usually Anita is quiet and reserved. It takes a lot to make her speak up. It takes something really important to her (like having to share her chocolate desert) to get such an out burst.
Now Anita, you should know that most of us do not pay ANY attention to outbursts of thoughtless opinion in our family because they are as common as dirt. And now you know where I come by my wacky opinion about movies.
For the rest of us Show Business is stratified into castes that would make a Brahmin proud. At the pinacle is Academy Award Winner. Somewhere at the bottom of the SB food chain are Mimes, Circus Clowns and TV people. I know that Anita is destined for rarified air one day.
Scott
Lilli’s turn:
Shocked to see a message from Anita! Keep 'em coming. I'll weigh in, too-
From someone who covered the Oscars every year, I never take for granted now how much happier I am watching the show lying comfy in bed.
I agree with Ken: I love Jon Stewart and I love the Daily Show. I thought he did a good job... so much better than Chris Rock and Whoppi. I still like Steve Martin and I do love Billy Crystal but I'd be happy to see Jon next year, too. I also agree that Tivo is a must when it comes to award shows. God Bless the winners for winning and more power to them and their speeches but it's nice to zoom through if the mood strikes. I, too, paused it for a while when it was time to put Mason to bed and I also rewound when I missed a joke or two.
I enjoyed the fashion more when stylists weren't so prevalent because everyone looks so perfect and overdone now, there's no hiedeousness to make fun of. It's hard to get too riled up over Charlize's dumb shoulder bow.
I liked the Crash suprise win and Reese's speech. I thought it was very cool that the Pimp song won because those scary dudes did seem really happy about it. I thought Dolly did a great job, though, and I didn't like the re-enactments behind the Crash song.
It's still my favorite night of TV and I still love waking up the next day to read the recap in the paper.
LL
A rare Marcus appearance:
Well Anita, you got 16 correct, I
got a grand total of four!, so what does that tell you about my movie knowledge.
I think I’ll stick to being a music pundit, although I have to say, I was a long
way from choosing “Life is tough on the street for a pimp” or whatever the hell
it was called that won “best” song, so it might be time to call it a day. By the
way, I quite enjoyed the tv show about good films last night that I caught
occasional glimpses of in between a four hour fest of corporate ads. TIVO will
be a “must have” if I’m to get through it again next year.
Marcus
See I tripped over an Anita on the way to the Oscars. I don't stand corrected, but I do stand informed. I have never exchanged e-mails or conversations with anyone so deeply involved in the Academy's business before.
It was truly enlightening and a bit scary to know that out there on the Freeways of Life and Los Angeles, there's a wonderful girl rehearsing her acceptance speech for an Oscar. I hope for you and your heritage's sake you get it, then we can all cheer you on. But 'till then - - you and my mother go in the same box. Waiting for the glitter and the glam to drip down upon you. Good Luck with your quest, there are worse ambitions than the applause and votes of your peers.
bldegl sends
Here's what the Harris family said back in 2004.
March 7, 2006